My family, Theo, Origin of Image and Zephyr
How do you cope, how do you keep the smile on your face, you don’t look like you’re in pain, you’re so strong, but you don’t look like you’re in pain, how did you manage to do that? etc etc.
These are some of the questions and comments I hear all the time. There isn’t one single reason I can give for ‘coping’, I think a few things play a role (and my personal list of rules). The biggest of all, I believe is my own brain’s chemistry and built in ability, something I don’t believe I have control over and was born with (and how greatful I am for this ultimate survival gift!), but coming in second, or even on par, is my husbandly support, Theo. I don’t know what I would have done if Theo hadn’t understood my pain and my eratic injury and hadn’t supported me 200%. Seriously there were days I thought I was crazy, I kept asking myself was there an underlying reason to cause all this, I couldn’t work myself out – why the pain came, went, intensified, flared up, basically took control over me with various activities. It’s hard to explain, it’s hard to live with and I think its very hard when you have to stand by and when you can’t help change it, help stop the pain, just watch (and that’s the short of it!).
And there was Zephyr too, our Jack Russell, who was walked and exercised daily (sometimes twice a day) who suddenly couldn’t go anywhere. I hear alot how, family of course, but also pets can go out in sympathy for their loved ones, and I’m not saying this is our case, but Zephyr did acquire lower back arthritis which was very unusual for his 4 years of age just months after my accident. Also, strangely, when I was diagnosed end of last year, he showed signs of recovery and didn’t need his monthly shots (he’s still on half a cortisone tablet every second day though).
Origin of Image (OoI) continued after my fall, as I did, assuming my injury wasn’t anything serious and I’d recover in weeks. I moved my computer to a higher bench and worked alternating between sitting and standing, eventually on towels (now I know it was to soften the pressure on my heels) and I would lie down when the pain worsened… then get up again. As far as I knew I had no fracture so as long as I could tolerate the pain I kept going.
In under a year’s time I wasn’t coping and we hired a graphic designer. We hoped I’d recover in the meantime and I’d return to an upgraded 3 person studio but I didn’t and we had to make the decision not to renew our employee’s contract and instead attempt, what resulted in, an unssuccessful merger. This wasn’t a surprise, Theo and I were the only formula for OoI… we decided to put the company to sleep and not risk letting any of our loyal clients down. After having lived, worked and played from one location for 8 years Theo had to find employment, and I was home (with Zephyr), a huge lifestyle change we simply had to adjust too. I didn’t, instead I found I actually needed daily help and my pain levels were rising and capacity and hopes fading.
Theo was employed for just over a year when my peripheral stimulation device was implanted. This was my reviver and I saw a great change in my pain levels and because of this, of course I could think, I had my senses back and a bit more capacity. We realised the implant was a great opportunity for progress so we decided to pull out all stops and head to the country for a year to concentrate on my rehab. Theo was going to be around to help, I was going to focus on pacing up my activities totally, no social responsibilities, just focus… and Theo could possibly service a few clients, again hoping we were going to make some progress and come back to our darling OoI.
We came so close, we were looking for property in the healing lands of Hepburn Springs when I read The Brain That Changes Itself. Amazing having pain relief and being able to read a book, and focus, and remember, and think, it can bring incredible relief, (not to mention prevent another major upheavel) and most importantly set you back on the road towards the brilliant life you had.
Download the full story: My story of my struggle with Pelvic Chronic Pain (since March 2007)